#Twitter: “Gonna be pwning n00bz on my Twitch channel in 20 minutes! Follow or die!”
#Facebook: “Join my “$Get$$Dollaz$” group now and get exclusive access to all these different people on every MLM scheme that will separate you from what little money you got, trying to get rich!
#Instagram: “Check out these videos we stole off TikTok!”
#TikTok: “Check out these videos we stole off Instagram!”
#YouTube: “Check out these videos we actually put effort into creating, but never, NEVER read the comments unless you want to lose all faith in humanity.”
#Mastodon: “I am a nuclear biologist, gardener, writer, and developer. I recently rewrote the code to the entire web, baked a lovely shepherd’s pie, forged a Damascus steel sword for my wife, and wrote an entire book of prayers in Old English for my children.”
#Indieweb: “I still need some help tightning up my .css file and can’t seem to get cross posting to the other places right. Who has time to help with webmention testing in 15 mins?”
(Inspired by this post I saw a few minutes ago on the innanet by @thelastofhisname@mastodon.online)